The Dog Name 'Sex'

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend
so get yourself a dog."

Cinema

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it…you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!!”

Lawak JAIS

Rumah Azim di datangi JAIS.

JAIS ketuk pintu rumahnya.
Azim Membuka Pintu.

Azim: Ya Encik nak ap...????

5 orang pegawai JAIS perempuan memandangnya serius.

10 Saat

Disini antara beberapa fakta-fakta yang menarik yang boleh dikongsi bersama.....untuk pengetahuan anda
apabila anda selesai membaca artikel ini anda telah membuang masa anda selama 10 saat.

The Different;)

No Way to Goal

OoooOOppss!!

Bill Gates In Hell

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."

Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.

Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a Beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says, "I'll take this option."

"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer.

"That was Bill Gates!" cried Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"

"That's what everyone thinks," snickered Satan. "The bottle has a hole in it and the girl hasn't..."

"What about the PC?"

"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan. "And it's missing three keys."

"Which three?"

"Control, Alt and Delete."

9 Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn

1. During foreplay, he’s always double-clicking your G-spot.
2. His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.
3. When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, “Scroll down.”
4. Tells everyone he’s a pioneer in “palm computing.”
5. He’s suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.
6. When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, “Boy, I’d like to click on her.”
7. You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.
8. As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.
9. During sex, he shouts, “Refresh! Refresh!”

Jatuh Talak

Si putri berlari mendapatkan ibunya yang sedang meraung dan teresak-esak menangis dihadapan tangga rumahnya.

Putri : (Dengan cemas) Kenapa ni mak?

Ibu : (Sambil melolong seperti orang sakit) Ayah kau..marahkan mak, tak benarkan mak pergi jemputan rumak bekas...ADOIII.......

Putri : (Dengan rasa marah)Apa yang ayah dah buat pada mak ni?

Ibu : Mak bergaduh, ayah kau kata "kalau mak pijak anak tangga pertama, jatuh talak satu. kalau tangga kedua, jatuh talak dua. Dan kalau ketiga, jatuh talak tiga....WAAA sakit...

Putri : Apa yang mak buat?

Ibu : mak terjun tangga...WAAAAA.....

Reduce Weight

" And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me? " asked the father of his little son.

" Diet."  (-_-") LOL

Make A Wish

A woman got an antique Magic Mirror from the flee market which claims will make your wish come true. So the woman took it home and made a wish : " Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, please make my breast to forty-four." Suddenly, the magic happens. Her breast is getting larger and larger to size 44. Her boy friend saw what had happened to her and couldn't wait to make a wish himself. So the guy said to the the mirror: " Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, please make my " it" to the floor." Then the " Miracle" happens. The guy's legs were getting shorter
and shorter and finally his " it" did reach the floor.--->;-p(laugh)

10 dot dot dot..

Abu pergi ke hospital untuk pemeriksaan doktor kerana mengalami penyakit misteri,,,
doktor dengan penuh kecewa berkata dengan slamber,,,

Doktor: Awak cuma boleh hidup 10...(terdiam)
Abu   :10 ape doctor,,,10 tahun???10 bulan???minggu???








Sambil tengok jam..doktor pon bercakap.....
doktor: 9,,,8,,,7,,,6,,,5,,,4,,,,

Hhhahahahahhaha,,sambil gelakkan Abu(-_-)

New Way to Rempit

Rempit like this, sure safe!;-p

Oh! Please ...

In the reshahar high evening in the night of some day, a couple are billing and cooing in the park!

Its dialogue is as follows:
Woman: Oh! Please don't touch me!
Oh! Please don't touch ... !
Oh! Please ... don't ...... !
Oh! Please ............... !
Oh! ....Oh! .....Oh! .....Oh!


anything in your mind?;-P

Jenaka Hadiah Hari Jadi

Mamat mempunyai seorang roomate yang paling beliau benci.  Kerana teramat benci pada tahun lepas beliau menghadiah kan batu nesan yang tertera nama roomate nyer kepada roomate nyer itu...
Pada tahun ini pula...Mamat tidak memberikan apa-apa hadiah kepada roomate nyer itu lagi...dan si roomate nye itu tanpa segan silu bertanya....
"Mat...tahun ni mane hadiah aku...ko tak bagi lagi kan"...
Selamber je roomate nyer itu meminta hadiah darinye...rase terbakar dalam ati...nak flying kick je roomate nye yang bermuke selenge tu...Dengan muke selamber jugak..si mamat menjawab...
"Aku malas nak bagi...adiah tahun lepas yang aku bagi ko pun ko tak gune lagi..." Kwang3x ;p

Posting Pertama My Joke Blog

Posting pertama pengenalan untuk jenaka - jenaka serta hiburan santai demi mendapatkan keceriaan sehari - hari. Paling tidak pun senyum kambing. Cekidaut!